i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
