so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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