But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
