your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
