Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
