I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
