can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
