quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
If I die, sorry about rent.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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