last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
