Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
