1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
