I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
worst night to have a conscience
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
