do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
