She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I just want nice things and good sex
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
