First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
