I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
