the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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