Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
