girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
