whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
We left an ass print on the piano.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
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