If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize