hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize