Yo dont text me then not text me
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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