he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
