we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Randomize
