did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
