True but thats because hes a fetus.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
