he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize