My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize