ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Randomize
