And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
