I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Randomize
