you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
