Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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