dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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