Little spoons don't ask big questions
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
