I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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