he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
