You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
