Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
