If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
