Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I CAN MOONWALK!
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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