I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
