Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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