i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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