KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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