My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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