Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
