Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
