Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
