Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
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