I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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