Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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