Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
