What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
