He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
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