all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
