My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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