Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
