Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
