i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize
