yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
