I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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