I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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