dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
You can't motorboat a personality
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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