I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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