when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
she looked like the before picture.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
