Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
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