you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
