I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
