Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
