i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
