I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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