Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
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