how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
where are my eyebrows?
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
