she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Randomize
