She announced her abortion via fbk
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
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