i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
