TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
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