real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
