Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize