You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Randomize