I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I want her autograph on my taint
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize
